Toddlers Are Like Drug Addicts

Last night I was able to get out and catch Hangover 2.  While the movie provided some good laughs, it was clearly a Hollywood sellout aimed only at generating 9 figure earnings.  It was tirelessly predictable and incredibly similar to the first one, but I managed to enjoy myself.  The funniest thing I saw all night, however, was from the preview from the movie "The Change-Up."  Jason Bateman (the fat kid from Stand By Me) plays a father and while talking to his single friend, makes the analogy that a toddler is like a drug addict.  In my own words it went something like this:

"Kids are like minature crackheads.  They're demanding, needy, unpredictable, draining on your bank account, stubborn, and constantly putting themselves in life threatening situations."

Immediately Reegan came to mind.

Two weeks ago we went to a wedding in Paynesville and we thought it would be fun to stay at a hotel with a pool.  I had packed all the girls swimming suits, swimmer diapers, and life jackets.  Somehow from the time I packed to when we arrived at the hotel, the life jackets magically disappeared.  While they make the swimming experience much more enjoyable, apparently Anya and Caitlin thought it would be more fun to put them on their stuffed animals and leave them in my bedroom.  But no problem, the pool area had a zero depth pool, a hot tub, and a regular pool.  Reegan could hang out in the kiddy pool while Alicia and I took turns swimming with Anya.  We really don't have to worry about Caitlin, she hates the water.  Don't get me wrong, she loves the idea of going swimming; she gets to put on her cute little suit and stare at herself in the mirror, but when it comes to actually getting wet, pass.

Our plan would have worked perfectly, but Reegan quickly  learned that her chances of death were too low in the kiddy pool.  She wanted the rush of jumping into a pool without the slightest concept of how to stay afloat.  She would walk down the stairs until she couldn't touch, and then take a few more steps just for the hell of it.  Seriously kid?  When you'd pick her up, she'd kick like a mule, insisting you release her.  I mean once I can understand; she doesn't understand the consequences of not being able to breath.  But after half a dozen times, you've got to think the kid has a deathwish! 

Thanks to my watchful eye and cat-like reflexes, we were able to return home with all three Roses.

Tip of the Day:  When washing your hands, it is unnessessary to use water.  Simply apply a large amount of liquid soap, scrub, and wipe your hands on the nearest towel. After visiting a porto-potty, Anya learned that using the hand sanitizer doesn't require water, so why should soap?  Not only do you save on your water bills, your hands and your towels smell like Pomegranate Berry for hours.