The chronicles and ramblings of a stay-at-home father raising his three beautiful girls, Anya Rose, Caitlin Rose and Reegan Rose.

Friday, December 16, 2011

I live in a Van...

..And it's not even down by a river.  Last Friday the movers took our belongings and started making their way to our new house.  Alicia flew out earlier this week to work and be available for when the movers arrived.  But life happens when you make plans, and life certainly happened. Our stuff was supposed to arrive today, but somehow our load was shipped to the wrong location.  The soonest they can get it to us now is next Friday.  So instead of having Alicia present to unload the truck, we are going to wait until I arrive on the 28th to deliver the goods.  It's a pain but whateves.  It could be worse right?

Living out of a van for the past week hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be.  We visited my sister Katie in Evansville, WI last weekend and had a great time.  On Sunday night we drove up to my in-laws farm where we're going to stay until after Christmas. 

The hardest part of living the transient life is trying to get the girls to sleep.  In the past week I've had the honor of going to sleep with each of my Roses.  Just as they each have their own daytime personalities, they are also very different as they sleep...

Sleeping with Anya is like sleeping with a snoring, malignant bed tumor; she starts out in a small sliver of the bed, and within the hour she has rendered the entire mattress unsleepable.  As sweet as she is during the day, she is equally annoying while sleeping.  And how the hell can a 5 year old girl snore like a 85 year old man? 

Reegan is almost as bad as Anya.  Reegan constantly twirls her hair and frizzes it out into a white-girl afro. You can't be within 12 inches of that thing if you hope to get any sleep.  To add to the challenge, Reegs can't lie still for more then 10 seconds.  It's like trying to sleep with an epileptic Art Garfunkel.  And she's mean!  I got punched in the face in the middle of the night and when I rolled over to see what the hell was going on, and I swear I saw her smile.  I had to sleep the rest of the night with one eye open for fear that she would smother me with her pillow.

Caitlin is my saving grace.  Sleeping with Caitlin is like laying down with an Angel.  She loves to snuggle and lies completely still.  The other night she rested her head on my shoulder and wrapped her tiny hands around my arm.  She fell asleep cuddled up to me and I just laid there in amazement, 'I might actually get more than 3 hours of sleep tonight.'

Tip of the Day - If Grandpa Jerry tells you, 'If you don't work, you don't eat' he's just messing with you.  His words have been Anya's mantra ever since we arrived on the farm and she hasn't missed a milking yet for fear of going hungry.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Click, Click, Click, Click...

The packers are coming today.  No not butt loving packers like Aaron Rodgers and company, the real packers; the people putting our stuff in boxes to help us move.  It's been crazy these past few days.  I feel like I'm a roller coaster on its way to the top of the first hill.  At first the idea of riding a huge coaster is exciting, adventurous.  As you slowly approach the front of the line, your stomach starts to get jittery.  You think, 'Jesus that slope is steep!  Maybe I should have thought this through a little bit more... Man I hope that fried pickle on a stick stays in my stomach...' Finally it's time to take your spot in the ride.  The bell rings and the brakes release from the station.  The grinding of the gears and the jolt from the first push forward leave you uncomfortably nervous.  Click, click, click; you climb the track.  The hill now seems exponentially higher than it did from the ground.  As you reach the summit, you do all you can do not to curse out the son of a bitch that conned you into this God-forsaken ride.  When at last you reach the top, you look down into the abyss hoping to God you make it through alive.  "Oh dear God, I hope putting my life in the hands of a 41-year-old toothless man was a good decision.  Please let this tattered, dangerously loose seat belt keep me from free falling to my demise!"

Yep, that's about where I'm at right now.  The excitement and nervousness it at it's climax.  I dropped the girls off at Papa's house while Alicia and I ready the house for the movers to put all our earthly possessions in small cardboard boxes.  Did I make sure to stop the mail?  Are the utilities transferred?  Do we have everything in our van that we'll need for the next three weeks at the farm?  And where the hell are all the kids blankies?  They'll all freak out without the blankies!  Everybody stay calm...WHERE ARE THE FUCKING BLANKIES!!!

Whenever you do something the first time, you always worry that you're not doing something right.  I remember changing Anya's diaper for the first time.  I was a wreck! 

"OK, no problem here, first we unstrap the diaper...check.  Looks like a doozy in here...It's just poop, Bo, you can do it.  Wipe.  Now I know there's a rule here; I remember something about wiping a certain way or my child will develop a deadly infection.  But what way is it.  Damnit!  I knew I shouldn't have gone to the Lamaze class hung over!  I have to make a decision.  Okay, front to back.  Here we go!  Breath Bo, breathe.  Oh God, she's peeing!  How can a girl pee up?  It's physiologically impossible!  All over her onesie; seriously?"

But eventually I figured it out.  Now I can change Reegan in less than 30 seconds.  The fears in our minds are always scarier than the reality of the situation.  The challenges of raising my Rose's were (and are) incredibly scary, but the joy I get from that adventure is infinitely more rewarding.  I know it's scary to move across the country.  I know it's going to be hard to be away from our friends and family.  I know many of you reading are on the same roller coaster ride that I am.  But the best things in life require stepping out of your comfort zone.  I'm sure when this ride is done, we'll all be amazed at the rewards our courage and openness have afforded us.

Tip of the Day - Always flush the toilet.  Its disturbing when someone uses the toilet and forgets to flush.  Especially when it's a number two.  And especially if the number two isn't accompanied by any toilet paper.