The chronicles and ramblings of a stay-at-home father raising his three beautiful girls, Anya Rose, Caitlin Rose and Reegan Rose.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Nothing beats blowing shit up

The Fourth of July was last week and we had some friends from Minnesota come visit for the holiday.  Stacy , Eric and their two kids, Brody and Ava came out for a 5 day vacation and we were excited to have them.  They arrived around noon on Wednesday and we took full advantage of the beautiful weather.  We sat on our porch while the 5 kids ran around entertaining themselves.  Once your kids reach a certain age, the theory of subtraction by addition takes place; add enough kids and they pretty much take care of themselves.  While fireworks are illegal in the entire Seattle area, we learned that our particular development thumbed their noses at the bigwigs of King County for their tyrannous laws against blowing shit up and unincorporated themselves.

As a student of human sociology, I have always found it interesting to see how males in various cultures assert their importance.  In Native American cultures, headdresses were granted to the males in authority; the middle ages adorned their men with ornate pieces of armor; in the Mid West men buy big trucks.  In Klahanie (our neighborhood), the man with the biggest penis is the one who spends the most money on dumb and dangerous fireworks.  By 9:00pm it sounded like D-Day!  We must have witnessed $10,000 worth of heavy duty explosives set in the air under the watchful eye of a neighborhood of drunk guys.  In there defense, we didn't see any drunk people actually firing off the $200+ fireworks, they had their 10-13 year old kids doing it.  I can't believe the government wants to keep butting it's head into our own personal liberties.  I mean aside from a few fires caused by falling embers and a car that exploded at 1:30am from a mortar that had been smoldering on the ground before detonating, the night went off without a hitch!  As unsafe as the event was, Eric and I had an amazing time enjoying the show.

The next several days we spent hiking, swimming, bar-hopping and enjoying each others company.  We ended up taking the kids to the pool just down the block from our house several times to beat the 75 degree heat.  They have a regular sized pool and a shallow pool for the kids.  When Reegan asked what the name of the small pool was, I told her it was the kiddie pool.  Reegan loves the 'Kitty Cat' pool.

We were sad to see our friends leave last Sunday, but we have an exciting week ahead to look forward to.  We will be heading down to Sunriver, Oregon tomorrow for another week long vacation.  Alicia has a conference there and families were invited to spend the week at the resort as well.  It should be a fun week of playing in the waterpark and relaxing.

In preparation for our 6 hour drive, I took the girls to the library to stock up on books and videos.  With Anya turning 6 in September, I thought the time was right to get her her own library card (besides, if those books and movies don't make it back from Oregon, I don't want that shit on my permanent record.  That's the last thing I need; going to jail for not returning Max and Ruby Save Christmas on time.  Do you know what they do to guys in the slammer for renting movies like that?).  When we got in the car Anya was so excited.  She said "Dad can you believe it?  I have my first Credit Card!"

The sad thing is is that she's right!  This card allows her to pretty much get anything she wants at her age; Barbie movies, picture books, and unlimited internet access.  I didn't have the heart to tell her that it wasn't a real credit card, but I'm sure I'll have a good blog story when she tries to pay off my $100 bar tab with a library card. ;)

Tip of the Day - Attempting to explain the difference between a kiddie pool and 'kitty cat' pool to a stubborn 2 year old is not worth your time or energy. Just accept the strange looks when your child plays in the water Meowing.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Potty Time Up in Here

Right before our trip home to Minnesota, Reegan drew Alicia and I this picture:
Can you guess what this is?  Neither could I.  But after Reegan explained her artistic creation, it all made sense.

"It's poop Dad!  It's my poopie! See, it's poopie!"  She literally said, "It's poop Dad!" ten times.

And those strange dots around it?  Yep, potty. My Reegan is a Picasso!  I mean it isn't the best drawn picture of shit I've ever seen, but it easily make my top 5.  Mr. Poo takes top honors, but even he doesn't have the potty to go with him.  I'm so proud of my little Reegsy.  And in case you were wondering, no she still is not potty trained.

On a different note, the Schmidt's just returned home to Washington yesterday after spending 15 days back in Minnesota.  We had an absolutely amazing trip back home.  We spent the first week with my parents in Minnetonka and the second week at the farm.  Here are of the unique insights we learned from our vacation:

1. At my parents, we discovered a unique Schmidt trait that requires us to make an unnecessary amount of noise when we yawn.  Being the most addicting bodily function their is, we feel it appropriate to draw as much attention to the act as humanly possible.  

2.  Anya has come to realize something very important about Grandpa Pohlmann.  When my sister asked her what Grandpa's rule is at the farm, Anya quickly responded 'If you don't work, you don't eat!' When my sister followed with the comment 'Well you better make sure you work hard then.' Anya retorted, 'But nobody really listens to Grandpa.'

3.  The beach never gets old.  With 90 degree heat and humidity so high it makes your balls stick to your leg, nothing beats the cool waters of Lake Minnetonka, especially when the AC is out at your parent's house.

4.  A cow getting a DA surgery will keep three kids silently entertained for a solid hour.  For those of you who don't know what that is, it is a procedure where they sedate a cow, make a 6 inch incision into it's side, and literally pull the cows stomach out to untangle a knot in it. Now that's something they won't see on Dora.

5.  We have the most amazing families in the world.  With all their strange quirks, I couldn't imagine having a more loving group of people to support us in our life's adventures.  The Roses relish in spending time with Papa and Nana, Grandma and Grandpa, and all their cousins.  Thanks for being who you are!

Tip of the Day - Hug a farmer next time you see one.  You see all this bad press about factory farms and the mistreatment of animals, but there are still thousands of great farmers out there busting their asses so you can eat healthy foods.  Spending one day in 90 degree heat unloading bails of hay will give someone a new found appreciation of all their job entails.  And yes, my fingers and back are still sore.